Funny Mummy

November 2008

Show me the money, Mommy

Even before I had children, money had a way of slipping through my fingers much too quickly. Today, I find that even though these same fingers are now normally holding onto a child or two, or have a mysterious sticky substance adhered to them, the money seems to fly out even faster - directly from the ATM, barely touching down into my wallet, and out to the waiting hands of a waiting retail merchant, school secretary, orthodontal receptionist, bored indoor playground attendant, or the outstretched arm poking from a fast food window.

My children are very conscious of what "It's too expensive" means - whether it's the twoonie for the vending machine which spews out a five cent plastic ring, all the way up to the $200 running shoes - yet I have to give them credit for continuing to ask for more and more - their eternal optimism is impressive. (Fueled, no doubt by the fact that their Dad works for a bank so why he doesn't just bring some more money home every night?)

Today's parents have more expenses than the previous generation did - partly because of safety but partly because of our own stupidity. Some of the things I spend money on for my children that I'd like to cut back on include: the "indoor runners", a different helmet for each of the head-cracking activities my kids are involved in, the endless supply of Slushies which every hockey arena offers (hellooo - street hockey has no such thing!), $10 mandatory school agendas, postage-stamp-sized-games for handheld electronic units which are only "unlost" for the first two hours in my cluttered house, the "book orders" which come home from school but have more computer games and plush toys than books on order, and every piece of overpriced merchandise that features a talking sponge or a transforming truck. Throw in all of the organized sports' fees (including the amount which goes to cover the "trophies for all" strategy), and I find myself eyeing up their piggy banks. Please note that the above list is deliberately void of any ridiculous purchases one makes for newborn babies (like my personal favourite, the wet-wipe warmer) as the list is simply too exhaustive and we all own that stuff already and need to get over it.

All this to say that in honour of our struggling world economy (as of today, at any rate, but stick around!), I found some interesting quotes from a diverse group of people about what money - or the lack thereof - means to them. I invite you to take a few minutes and see if you can guess who said what. I think they're all right on the money.

1. "I have enough money to last me the rest of my life. Unless I buy something."
2. "Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy."
3. "Only borrow money from pessimists. They don't expect to get it back."
4. "I'm not interested in money. I just want to be wonderful."
5. "If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning."
1. Marilyn Monroe
2. Groucho Marx
3. Aristotle Onassis
4. Stephen Wright
5. Jackie Mason

Kathy Buckworth's latest book "Journey to the Darkside: Supermom Goes Home" is available in bookstores everywhere. Visit www.kathybuckworth.com

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